Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Advice for water-walkers

To avoid unfortunate tragedies like this one, the following safety tips are provided for those at large scale god-botherer gatherings who feel the need to try some aquatic pedestrianism:

1. Beginning water-walkers should start on a shallow pond with no currents.
2. Fast flowing rivers should be avoided for those who haven't managed the art of running on water.
3. As should jump starts from a bridge - you should practice starting from a level beach until confidence has been gained.
4. If you feel the water coming up to your neck, swim for the shore. Pray some more and try again.
5. Don't take the brown acid - even if you got it from the bishop.

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