Scary

John Key has identified McGehan Close as New Zealand's worst street. For those not familiar with the neighbourhood, it's in Sandringham (not the one where the Queen lives). The following Google Maps picture shows the scene - burning cars, bodies, destroyed buildings, etc:

(You might notice that higher-res imaging is not available - the satellite pilots were too scared to fly any lower)

The scariest thing is that the area is frequently attacked by "gangs from Grey Lynn". These notorious desperados are noted for their pillaging of Auckland - look at these guys for instance:

I hope Mr Key's audience are suitably cautioned by his speech and stay safely in Christchurch - we wouldn't want them venturing into the ghettos of Glenfield, Takapuna or Kohimaramara, would we?

Advice for water-walkers

To avoid unfortunate tragedies like this one, the following safety tips are provided for those at large scale god-botherer gatherings who feel the need to try some aquatic pedestrianism:

1. Beginning water-walkers should start on a shallow pond with no currents.
2. Fast flowing rivers should be avoided for those who haven't managed the art of running on water.
3. As should jump starts from a bridge - you should practice starting from a level beach until confidence has been gained.
4. If you feel the water coming up to your neck, swim for the shore. Pray some more and try again.
5. Don't take the brown acid - even if you got it from the bishop.

First time?

I'm not sure, but this might be the first time that a columnist has used a newspapers comment facility to criticise the subbing of their article. Well done Charlie!

Healthy eating

Popular comedian and friend to Havoc and Newsboy Mike King is in hospital with a stroke.




Hopefully he'll make a full recovery, but could it be that stuffing yourself with red meat for every meal as advocated by the NZ meat industry and its spokespeople isn't all that good for you?

Tribal strumming

Those naiccce girls at Red Confectionary pointed out this article in the Dom Post.

Since anyone can play this game, I've made up the following tribes with amusing acronym names, something the original authors conspicuously failed to do:

ARSEHOLES - Auckland Real Smooth Elegant Home Owning Lifestyle EnterpreneurS
e.g. Michael Boulgaris

SICOES - South Island Church Organising ElderS
e.g. Graham Capill

PRATS - Public Relations Articles To fill up Space
e.g. the article referenced above (ok it's not a group of people, I'm running outta inspiration here)

I'm sure you can think up others!

(Viz. Profanisaurus strum v. = A relaxed tug.)